I started this nude blog TPOC (trans people of color), women and men. It’s not necessarily NUDE NUDE.. it’s whatever you want it. Clothed, naked, half naked, face shown, face not shown.. I suppose I’ll be promoting it here. If you wanna submit, I would LOVE that :)
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- Jake Shears
- Self, after being asked why I “transitioned”
President Obama made a statement saying he supports “gay marriage.” Some people are happy about this. Some people want more. I understand both sides. It is not easy for a Black man, especially one under so much scrutiny, to openly support the LGB community. It goes against Black culture. For this, for his courage (for lack of a better term), I am grateful. However, President Obama still has work to do. Supporting “gay marriage” is not enough. Make those marriages that you support legal, even though it’s supposedly not within your capacity. Less talk, more action.
Unfocused
I find myself completely unable to focus lately. There are too many things going on and my attention span is nonexistent. I’ve dedicated myself to 20 tasks and am only giving each a small percentage of effort to barely scrape by. I’m missing homework assignments and pushing boundaries with work deadlines. It’s only a matter of time until it all catches up to me. Maybe this week. Maybe next.
Unmotivated
The lack of direction for my future has created a sense of nonchalance with my present. I have no more drive left. I just want to sleep all the time. It’s the only time I feel at peace.
Unattended
The few friends I have have gone off to do their own things and left me with nothing more than an occasional tweet or text. I feel as though I no longer matter to them for whatever reasons. I’ve tried forming bonds with new people, but that’s proved to be a bit difficult.
My grades are being affected. My job is being affected. My leadership role is being affected. It’s just too much. I need a break.
For Ruth, who likes it when I pretend to have muscles. For Luther, who always make this face look attractive. For No Reason, other than that I really like my yellow shorts. For The Shirtless Folks Who Just Like To Be Shirtless Because They Paid $6000 For It….this is for you.
I have a box of clothing that I’ve been trying to get rid of ever since I decided to transition (2007-2008). Most of the items are women’s items—shirts and jeans—that, due to my gender identity “issues,” were the Devil zhirself.
While looking for things to wear out tonight, I decided to open the box to see if there were some jeans inside. No such luck, but I did stumble upon two really cute shirts from my pre-transition days. I decided to try them on.
They. Look. FABULOUS.
It’s absolutely amazing what transitioning and top surgery have done for my identity and self-esteem. I have all intentions of wearing an outfit composed of women’s jeans, shirt, and shoes tonight. And guess what? My level of confidence with “passing” isn’t decreasing in the least. In fact, it’s rising.
More on this later. I need to go buy shoes.
